love+hate=hlovate ek?

Hlovate…
Well name nyh mg x asing bg peminat2 novel Jemari seni…n aku nyh one of kipas hlovate nyh…
Ttbe je ak nk tulis pasal si dye ini…sbb novel2 dye sgt dkt dgn ak….watak2 dye n cte2 dye inspired me..lots n some of the value yg diutarakan dlm novel nyh mmpengaruhi cara aku tgok satu benda...
Aku kenal nama hlovate nyh bru je actually…masa 2 2008….ak nyh mg peminat novel2 chenta..so mse ak hang out ngan bdk2 nyh kt times square masa 2…ak singgah kt borders..ak nyh mg sgt suka kedai buku n stationary….x bley tgok rak yg ada bnyk2 buku..ada bnyk2 cd,dvd…mula laa kterujaan dtg…hoho..okey..pndek cerita ak pon msok la borders..sje nk carik novel…borders nyh mg kurang laa sgt novel bm…ttbe npk satu novel yg muka depan dye ad gambar kincir air ngan tulip.terdetik tyme 2…Holland!hehe…ak nyh mg laa ske sgt tanah oranje 2…sbb ak suka tulip…ak ske kincir air…ak ske Holland n sgt bercita2 nk gy sne…so,ak pon bce synopsis…aik…mcm seronok…ak pon smbr…starting dr situ…mula la perkenalan aku dgn hlovate…
Kadang2 rse dekat je ngn watak2 dye sbb ada laa sifat2 yg mcm ak…contoh cam cik addin 2…jenis yg ego tol nk luah2 rasa nyh…yg keras…part addin nyh enche chenta monyet je yg taw…yg rse…smpai kan dye yg lelaki pon ada rasa tp ak nyh yg beku….sampaikan enche chenta munyit yg asalnya bff ak 2 bley bg nickname puteri ais n si pelik kt ak nyh sbb ak nyh mcm beku btol…tp ntah laa….dolu2 laa sungguh keras aty n x terlibat dgn mende2 jiwang2 nyh….kalo x tade laa yg kne reject tnpa perasaan…mybe sbb dolu2 ak nyh cam boyish sket kowt…x lady…x feminine….n slalu anggap jiwang2 nyh mnjatuhkan saham n menyerabutkan kapla hotak ini…atau mngkin gak sbb mse 2 kunun2 takot laa terganggu study..lawak je kan….lg rse mende cam2 bodoh….ble tgok mmber yg nanges bergelen2…rse lawak sngguh….or mybe sbb ak taw fact yg nyh sume maen2 je…bkn nye kawen pon ngn org 2 kan,kan….
Or mybe sbb I know too well pasal mende2 yg tade kesudahan nyh….sbb rse sgt lame tgok definisi chenta yg disajikan dpn mata.yg bg bunga,hadiah kt awek…it juz that…or malu nk invite org dlm life sendri yg tade ape2…or malu nk berkongsi apa2 dgn org pasal apa yg dirasa….sbb slalu rse no one care n finally ak jmpe rooftop rant yg suit me well.n starting dr sni….ak nk carik wonderwall ak…org yg ak rse mcm jade…Kalo tnye novel mne pling ak ske…ak choose rooftop rant(2009).Welcome to Trisy World…open the door utk org msok life dye….bahagia kalo bley jmpe wonderwall kita.tp mg ak rse ak x kan jmpe.sbb ak mg x bley nk invite org dlm life ak.yg btol2 mg life ak.sbb 2 any relationship ak end up cam2 je.definisi chenta yg ak jmpe dlm relationship sblom2 nyh:lame,klise.atau mybe ak yg degil n too ashamed tok kongsi apa2….sbb skema dlm otak kte:no one care.tade sape nk dgr.esp lelaki.okey…ak sounded feminis ryte?ak da lme tade fikiran cani dlm otak sejak ak kenal dgn org2 tertentu…
Tp lme2 ak sndri yg rse cam he’s not my wonderwall…ak mg x bley nk invite dye dlm life ak.btol kowt ak ego.tanak org npk yg x chantek dlm life n ak btol2 rse it juz me yg fhm.org bley ckp…org bley tgok…tp kte yg rse.being too positive n gelak2 huha gn gang2 is juz escapism tp ad lg bende kte nk tanggung..mmg kte idop kt dunia nyh:alone.ada DIA je yg teman x kire ape pon…sbb yg bley kita sandar..kt DIA je..kan…aku tade laa kte ak ad darkages…zmn2 gelap…tp in any family…sume pon ad prob yg kdg2 make people.mksdnye….ap yg dye lalui jadikan dye yg dilihat.ada org manja sgt..lembik…sbb dr kecik nk apa dye bley dpt….ada org nyampah btol kt lelaki yg x brtnggungjawab sbb bpk dye x b/tjwb(bkn bapak ak eh..kang korg egt my dad cam2 lak)….n I know org2 yg idop dye…cara dye bwk diri..cre dye berfikir 2 dipengaruhi oleh keadaan family dye…n ak pon ad mende2 yg x lawa smpi I don’t feel 2 share…sbb ak taw..kadang2 org pretend je to listen…kadang2 dgn adik beradik sndri pon kte x ley nk share..mcm trisy ckp:theres a tyme when stranger are like family…n family are like stranger…n living wit guy wat ak know them too well…ak tataw laa mybe bro2 ak bkn good listener..but I know dorg x ske dgr mende remeh…kadang2 seploh kali ulang pon…dorg x sedar..kte da cte bnyk kali.lngsung tade sense
Beza dgn friend..kadang2 kte akn jmpe fren yg gile2 best n kte bley cte ap je n dorg nyh sgt faham…I know this type of fren yg smpai skrg ak x jmpe2 da…nme dye R…siyes I miss her mucho…mybe bak kte jade:same boat different cabin..ktorg bley ck pape je sbb dua2 family ktorg x lawa cam org laen..jdik ak cte dye paham.dye cte ak paham.ak x judge dye..dye x judge ak…
Kalo trisy borak cte prob kt dye kt rooftop,same goes ngan ak n dye..mak dye da tade sume…dye grown up dgn adik beradik…n dye..mcm jade…sbb slalu jdk comparison…n ak plak…beza ngan trisy.trisy 2 kaya..ak nyh…ssh…adik bradik rmai..it juz me yg bley dorg nk arap sume…n living wit guy….too many guy keje dorg gaduh,gaduh,gaduh,gaduh smpai mak ayah pon x dihiraukan…lngsung x respek…senang cte benci blik umah sbb umah 2 x penah aman sentosa.balik pon sbb rindu emak..syg mak..syg abah..cean abah…sume pon tunggang langgang…miskin btol adab sume…tp nk blame sape?mak bapak da bg didikan esp mak…
But then dulu laa….zmn dorg sume pon belasan tahon..nk menginjak dewasa…zmn dorg sume carik arah..tp things are much2 better nk bnding dlu2…mybe sbb ble ada yg da pergi tinggalkan ktorg bru laa rse nyesal sbb masa ada keje nk menangkan ego,kepala msing2 je kan…mybe sbb msng2 da tgok dunia lua….da taw value nye family nyh….mybe masing2 da dewasa…da dpt carik arah….tp zmn dorg carik arah 2 ak pon didrag sme n its make me….smpaikan satu sifat yg ak copy:panas baran,pntng dicabar,ske rebel….n I’m ashamed of it….bkn nature sorg pompuan tok berkelakuan cam2 ryte?but at least ak grown up jdik sorg yg x senang diperkotak-katikkan…too much gen pompuan kang ak lembik sgt plak kan,kan…hehe…tape laa da cani da nature ak….tp part yg buruk laku 2…akn aku ubah slow2…dlu2 da penat tgok mak nangis....she don’t need another guy tok wat dye penin kapla…tp nak jaga ank pompuan actually lg ssh dr ank lelaki ek?esp da fly ceh..fly konon…jauh2..lg laa…dgn masalah sosial yg melanda negara(ayt bm sejati)…
So,ak laa yg kne behave…ak la kne jaga dri…kuatkan iman..kuatkan prinsip yg da goyah….no man no cry..hahahaha…btol ap…n no woman no cry..utk guy…ak knl this guy taw…ak knl dye too well..aik,well ke…mg smoke pon tak..tp sbb pompuan last2 abes hanco life dye…nk kte hanco sgt x laa…tp da ssh kalo kte da terjerumus dlm dosa…almost rse x ley nk repent…2 yg repent dgn rokok laa ape lg laa yg x sptotnya…sbb da rse terhina dgn salah 2 tp lg hina kalo ditmbh lg dosa yg da berbakul 2 kan?(mengingatkan dri sendiri)
N ak amek pendekatan..mendengar cte org…mne yg bruk ak elak…mne yg baik ak applied….n mekasih laa kt si hlovate nyh…okey jap..thanx kat Allah dulu ye minah..sbb da guide myself…mtk kekal diguide n diremind..okey,thanx kt hlovate coz hasilkan karya ttg “perubahan” sbb everybody desperate 4 changing..melalui buku dye laa ak sdr..things started from me…bru laa reti bce quran bce tafsir…n kenal buku2 harunyahya…knl al-mathurat n makin curious nk crik ilmu….da reti nk remind myself ble otak 2 rse nk je wat mende2 yg bese dibwat….starting rooftop rant..pas2 versus..nyh karya terbaru dye ak tgok kt blogdrive ble ntah nk publish pon npk best.x saba nk tunggu…



p/s:have faith!
p/s:life breaks us all..in the end we are stronger in the broken places..hoyeah!!!!