sUduT pAnDaNg

sUduT pAnDaNg

Wednesday, September 11, 2013


Its been years I sit on the fences.
Just looking at others
Go on with their relationship
some struggle.some break.some make it through next level finally
and me..
I’m still sitting on the fences
afraid to jump cause I’m afraid of falling
how I wish I could jump off the fences
but me myself
I’m too coward
I am hesitate
I’m too defensive
I give no room for others
I just let them stay in front of the door
You know,all these years
I’m guarding myself
I have control
I control my action so that I wont fall into emotion
but yet I’m still lose on emotion
that one time I fall
change my emotion condition tremendously
and still I greive for same damn thing.person.
I hate myself for that
that’s why I hate it when I start to attach with some other guy
I wont let myself to attach with people
cause I know how its hurt
to let go of thing that we’re attached to
its hard.its hurt.cant be healed in nick of time
How I wish I know who I will be married to
so that I can let of my guards
give him chances
show him how I care
show him how I need him
show him the ugly side of me
show him the funny thing about me
show him how mushy I can be
show him that I’m not really frozen emotionally
I just need someone who can makes me feels
I can depend on him.He wont let me go no matter how hard things would be
I wanted someone who will fight cause me myself not a fighter
I’ll quit easily on relationship
unless he showed me that its worth to fight.


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